Educational guide — not legal advice. Confirm specifics with a licensed attorney in your state.
The document checklist
A complete estate plan for most US families is shorter than people assume. Five core documents, plus a sixth most people skip but shouldn’t:
- [ ] A will — names an executor, distributes your stuff, names a guardian for minor children.
- [ ] A financial power of attorney (durable POA) — names who handles your money if you can’t.
- [ ] A healthcare directive / living will — records your end-of-life care wishes.
- [ ] A healthcare power of attorney (proxy) — names who makes medical decisions for you if you can’t speak.
- [ ] Current beneficiary designations on every retirement account, life insurance policy, and payable-on-death bank account.
- [ ] A letter of instruction — not a legal document, but a plain-English note to your executor explaining where everything is, what you’d like to happen at your funeral, who should be notified, login credentials for major accounts.
If you have meaningful complexity — property in multiple states, a special-needs child, a blended family, a substantial estate — add:
- [ ] A revocable living trust with assets actually retitled into it (a trust you set up but didn’t fund does nothing).
That’s the whole list for most people. See our What Is Estate Planning guide for the full explanation of each.
The decision checklist
The documents are forms. The hard part is the decisions you have to make to fill them in. Sit down with this list:
Executor
The person who will settle your estate when you die. Pick someone:
- Honest and organized. This is months of paperwork.
- Likely to outlive you. Choosing an 85-year-old uncle is a popular mistake.
- Geographically practical. They’ll need to make calls during business hours and may need to show up at the courthouse.
- Willing to do it. Ask them. Don’t surprise them.
- A backup executor in case your first choice can’t serve.
You can also name a professional executor (an attorney, a bank trust department) for complex estates — they cost more but won’t quit, won’t die first, and won’t get into family arguments.
Guardian for minor children
The most important single decision for parents with young kids. Things to think about:
- Values alignment.
- Geographic stability (relocating grieving children across the country is a lot).
- Financial capacity (or whether you’ll fund a trust for the children’s needs).
- Existing relationship with the kids.
- A backup guardian.
Talk to the people you name. Don’t surprise them either.
Beneficiaries
Who gets what:
- Primary beneficiaries for each major asset class.
- Contingent (backup) beneficiaries in case the primary dies before you.
- Per stirpes vs. per capita language for descendants — this controls what happens if a beneficiary has children but dies before you. Ask your attorney to walk you through which makes sense.
Healthcare decisions
- Do you want CPR? Mechanical ventilation? Artificial nutrition and hydration?
- Comfort care preferences.
- Pain management priorities.
- Organ donation preferences.
- Burial vs. cremation preferences (helpful to record here, even though it doesn’t bind anyone legally).
A good healthcare proxy is more useful than a long list of specific scenarios — but specific guidance helps them navigate the gray areas.
Specific gifts
The “my grandfather’s watch goes to my niece” items. Two ways to handle these:
- In the will itself (binding, hard to change without re-doing the will).
- In a separate written list referenced by the will (legal in most states for personal property; much easier to update).
The beneficiary-designations check (do this today)
This is the single most-skipped, highest-leverage move in estate planning. Log in and check the named beneficiary on each of these:
- [ ] Every employer retirement account (current and former — 401k, 403b, 457).
- [ ] Every IRA (traditional, Roth, SEP, SIMPLE).
- [ ] Every life insurance policy (including small employer-provided ones).
- [ ] Every annuity.
- [ ] Every bank account with a payable-on-death (POD) designation.
- [ ] Every brokerage account with a transfer-on-death (TOD) designation.
- [ ] Your HSA.
- [ ] Your 529 plan for kids’ college (the successor account owner).
- [ ] Any transfer-on-death deed for real estate (in states that allow them).
Beneficiary designations override your will. If you named your ex-spouse 12 years ago and forgot to update it, your ex inherits — regardless of what your current will says.
Where to store everything (and who should know)
A perfect estate plan no one can find at the right moment helps no one.
Where the documents go
- Original will: in a fire-rated home safe, with the attorney who drafted it, or registered with the probate court in states that allow it. Do not store the only copy in a bank safe deposit box — it can get sealed at your death and require a court order to open.
- Copies of the will: with your executor and any backup executor.
- Copies of the healthcare directive and healthcare POA: with your primary care physician and with your healthcare proxy.
- Financial POA: with your named agent and with any bank or institution where you’d want them to be able to act.
- Beneficiary designations: the institutions hold these; you should also keep a list of them somewhere your executor can find it.
Who needs to know
- Your spouse / partner. Obviously.
- Your executor. Tell them where the will is and how to access it.
- Your healthcare proxy. They need a copy of the directive.
- At least one adult child (if you have any).
- Your attorney, if you have an ongoing relationship.
A short “where everything is” letter — physically printed and kept with the will — is invaluable. It can include:
- Where the will, trust, and other documents are.
- Names and contact info for your attorney, accountant, financial advisor.
- A list of accounts with the institution name (NOT passwords — keep those separately, see below).
- Names and contact info for the people who should be notified.
- Burial / cremation / service preferences.
A note on digital accounts
You can include a list of major online accounts (email, social media, password manager, bank logins) in your letter of instruction, but don’t put actual passwords in the will — the will becomes a public document during probate. Instead, use a password manager and tell your executor where to find the master password.
When to review
Re-review the whole plan when any of these happen:
- [ ] Marriage or divorce — most states automatically partially invalidate a will after divorce, but don’t rely on automatic. Update.
- [ ] A child is born or adopted — guardian designation is now urgent.
- [ ] A major life change for someone named in the plan — death of an executor or guardian, divorce, estrangement, a serious illness.
- [ ] You move to a different state — state estate-planning rules differ enough that a will from your old state may have weak spots in your new one.
- [ ] A large change in assets — selling a business, an inheritance, a new home, retirement.
- [ ] A change in tax law that affects estate or inheritance taxes (the federal exemption sunsets in some scenarios).
- [ ] Five years have passed since your last review — even if nothing else changed.
The printable summary
The whole plan, on one card:
Will: Yes / No · Date: ______ Financial POA: Yes / No · Agent: ______ Healthcare Directive: Yes / No · Date: ______ Healthcare POA / Proxy: Yes / No · Agent: ______ Living Trust (if needed): Yes / No · Funded: Yes / No Letter of Instruction: Yes / No Beneficiary designations reviewed: Date: ______ Where the will is stored: ______ Executor: ______ Backup Executor: ______ Guardian for minor children: ______ Backup Guardian: ______ Last review date: ______
Print it. Stick it on a folder with the documents inside. Tell your spouse / partner / executor where the folder is. You’re 90% of the way there.
Related reading
- What Is Estate Planning (and Do You Actually Need One?)
- What Is Probate and How Does It Work?
- What to Do When Someone Dies: A Step-by-Step Checklist
- How Much Does a Funeral Cost?
Educational information only — not legal, tax, or financial advice. Estate planning rules vary substantially by state. Consult a licensed attorney in your jurisdiction. Sources: American Bar Association; AARP Estate Planning Guide; state probate statutes.